Captain Science—real name Dr. Edwin Elemental—was the most passionate science teacher at Starview Academy. He wore a lab coat covered in embroidered atoms, molecules, and an occasional ketchup stain from his “very scientific” hot dog lunches. His hair stood up in directions that defied both gravity and common sense.
One Wednesday morning, Captain Science burst into the classroom holding a beaker that fizzed like a hyperactive soda can.
“Students! Today we explore the magic of chemistry!” he announced, accidentally sloshing bubbles onto his own shoes. They began to foam. He pretended not to notice.
The students leaned forward eagerly—science with Captain Science was never boring, and it was frequently flammable.
“To begin,” he said, “we mix these two harmless substances to demonstrate a simple reaction.” He poured one liquid into another beaker, and it puffed green smoke shaped suspiciously like a confused duck.
“Now,” he continued, “what do we call this?”
“A chemical reaction!” shouted Max.
“Correct! And what do we never do with unknown substances?”
Captain Science waited.
The class waited.
Then he glanced down at his fizzing, foamy shoes.
“Oh,” he said. “Right. We do not touch them. Excellent reminder!”
The class erupted in laughter.
Trying to recover, Captain Science moved to the whiteboard, where he wrote a formula so long it wrapped around the board twice and looked like it was thinking about escaping through the door.
“This,” he said dramatically, “is the formula for my newest creation: the Everlasting Energy Marble!”
A hand shot up. “Does it work?”
“Of course it—well, theoretically—mostly—hmm.” He tapped his chin. “Let’s say… yes-ish!”
He turned to his cluttered desk, rummaging through beakers, wires, bananas (for potassium lectures), magnets, and a rubber duck that squeaked ominously. Finally, he lifted a swirling blue marble glowing faintly like it had secrets.
“Behold!”
The marble buzzed.
Then wiggled.
Then zoomed off his hand and ricocheted around the room like a deranged lightning bug.
Students ducked. Desks rattled. The class pet hamster fainted dramatically.
“Don’t panic!” Captain Science shouted, racing after it. “Science is just excitement wearing goggles!”
The marble zipped into a stack of textbooks, blasting them open to a page titled Safety Precautions You Should Always Follow.
“That feels targeted,” Captain Science muttered.
Eventually, the marble slowed, sputtered, and landed gently in Zoe’s hand. She held it up triumphantly.
“Ah!” Captain Science exclaimed. “A perfect demonstration of potential and kinetic energy! See? It’s all educational!”
The class applauded. Someone revived the hamster with a pretzel.
Captain Science beamed. “Remember, young scientists: curiosity may cause minor explosions, but it always leads to discovery!”
As he said that, his shoes—still fizzing—released one final foamy poof.
“See?” he added proudly. “Science!”
